Ups and Downs

My Ex and I split up like last July but we had gone through a major event in the last two years battling 2 bouts of thyroid cancer - first him, then me. We had a very tumultuous time trying to adjust physically and then relationship-wise. The big C proved to be too much and we split up but we always loved each other even though we knew we couldn't stay together at the time.

Then, the universe synchronistically blessed us both with amazing jobs that would set us apart for 5 months starting in September. It was weird how we both got hired for fairly good paying jobs for almost the identical time frame. He ended up doing a gig on a cruise ship and I got a great gig in town for a commercial stage project.

Recently I was interviewed by a good friend about our double cancer experience and it brought back the hard times but now that I was healthy I was able to see the love we had for each other underlying the difficult times. We also celebrated his two year anniversary and my one year anniversary of being cancer-free when he recently finished his cruise gig. He left again for an indefinite time to travel to Asia...something he's always wanted to do. Before he left he told me he was going through England first...which made me a little suspicious but as we were no longer together, I felt I had no right to really ask. He kept telling me that it was a "friend" and wouldn't disclose the name. I realized he met someone.

On Feb. 1 we had an intimate dinner and evening. We were celebrating two years to the day when he had his surgery. We were also celebrating my one year anniversary when I had radioactive iodine a year ago. So synchronistic again. I was wearing a necklace that he gave me because this was our night. I wanted him to feel that he mattered to me still. That what we went through would be a connection that we would never have with anyone else.

On Feb. 11 he writes about finding a new love in his life posted on Facebook! I didn't go searching for this note. I saw it in my notifications...as if his boasting was all that mattered if all it hurt was one person, namely me. Although I know that I need to move on anyway, this was still hurtful and insensitive.

I don't want to hold him back. I really don't. I want him to be happy. I know we've grown apart. I just wish he had the decency to tell me first before the rest of the entire world. Why did all my friends in our community have to know before I did? Didn't I deserve a little consideration before this public humiliation?

There are no rules in break up world but jeezus, it just feels like a slap in the face when you have some amazing connections with someone just 10 days before you are informed that they are now declaring a new love in their life in a Facebook notice! Yeah, you DID screw up big time.